Cold hands, warm shart.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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