I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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