The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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