Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
