I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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