garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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