she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i will never coherently bang her
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
