why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
