She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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