At least make sure they are 18
Why
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
