i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
