I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
