Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
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