those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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