you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
