She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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