It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
