Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
