Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
