I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
