Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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