You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
