she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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