ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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