I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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