pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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