Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
