I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
