I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
