whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
