his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
