Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
