i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just had sex on a roof
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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