you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Are my feet made of real feet?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
