Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Please don't give away my fajitas
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
