I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
