My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Do you still have your period?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
