I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Randomize
