I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
