final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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