Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Randomize
