what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
