I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
