Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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