Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
