it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
