the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
