Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
