We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
