Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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