i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
