Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
