I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize