He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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