You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I cockslap morals
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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