So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
