i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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