I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
