You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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