I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
