I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Randomize