omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
