doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
