HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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