it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
