is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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