Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
