I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
