how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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