Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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