Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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