ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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