So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
