My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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